[ Neil doesn't pull away, doesn't shove him off. His lips move softly against Charlie's as the chill of autumn's dusk begins to edge into their bones. It's the greatest thing to happen in his young life, and it's over too soon.
His own eyes open to see Neil smiling– grinning, wide and toothy and infuriatingly charming. There's no shock, or rage, or hurt, or– whatever else Charlie's feared for so long that it now feels royally stupid. He feels himself grinning too, boyish and wild.
He lets the hand beneath Neil's chin fall down to rest against his shoulder. ]
Well? Did that do the trick, or are you still thinking?
[ He squeezes Neil's other hand, a single pulse to try to get his attention, his tone smug and playful all at once. ]
[Attention grasped. Neil looks up at Charlie, grin smaller, but not unhappy, not uncertain - unsteady, maybe, but not in a bad way. He stares at Charlie for a good few seconds, trying to process his words. Once he finally does, he lets out a bright laugh, shaking his head.]
No. No, I'm not thinking anything at all. I don't want to start. Jesus...
[A sudden nervous tightness in his throat. He swallows it down, another laugh squeaking out. His smile fades into a bite to his lower lip. He squeezes Charlie's hand.]
[ Jesus. The funniest thing about Neil, the thing that's tortured Charlie the most for years, is that he has no idea how he looks. He laughs, his eyes crinkle up, he bites his goddamn lip– he's beautiful.
Charlie's had eyes for many people throughout his young life. He's never thought one of them was beautiful.
Their clasped hands have been an anchor point, but he finally lets go now so he can turn more toward him, both of his hands over Neil's shoulders. They smooth over them, up to the sides of his neck and back down again. ]
It's alright with me. Is it alright with you?
[ Say yes. Let yourself want this one thing.
And then, inevitably, his own expression starts to creep into a smirk. ]
[When Charlie puts his hands on Neil's shoulders, it's easy to feel nervous - only for a moment, only because he hadn't at all expected to be kissed. He pulls his lips in, a funny sort of face that pulls back out into a laugh, a grin. He rolls his eyes just a bit, so terribly fond. His heart is in his throat.]
Yeah. I should. [He should. Charlie kissed Neil. Now Neil gets to kiss Charlie.
[He does, and it's a little quicker than the first one. Neil isn't satisfied with that, so he dips back in for another, just a little slower.
[His blood seems to ignite. It's an excitement he's yet to feel - alive, awake, inspiring. He doesn't know what it means, but maybe he doesn't want to. It could mean everything.]
Ha...[He closes his eyes. He's still smiling.]
Jesus, Charlie...You really think we could? No. We can. We have--
Yes. Yes, it's alright with me.
[A sudden worry, though, despite. His smile fades just a bit. He bites his lip again.]
[ He figured Neil would pull away again, keep talking, keep questioning. All Charlie wants is for them to stay in this perfect moment, shrouded from the rest of the school, kissing until darkness falls around them.
But it's an important question.
Charlie drapes his arms over Neil's bony shoulders, clasps his hands loosely behind him so he's trapped in their loop. Looks at him in the eye for a moment, his own expression unreadable. He wants to remember this: How Neil looked when he was allowing himself to want something, to have something; to want Charlie, to have Charlie. ]
Yeah. Just between you and me.
[ It's serious, significant. This moment and any others like it are for no one but them.
Then he breaks that somber air with grin, eyebrows rising. ]
You really think I wanna deal with the rest of them knowing? They'd never shut up about it. It's hard enough to keep 'em in line.
['Just bewteen you and me,' - a promise, hanging their between them. Neil lets it settle over his heart. He trusts Charlie implicitly - more so than he does anyone else in the world, he thinks. And he knows that that trust is well-founded. No one else has to know, and--
[Neil laughs, bright and sudden, the sound bursting through the air around them. He feels joy - just what he's always chasing, so rarely finds in moments that aren't far too fleeting.]
They'd never. Shut up. [He laughs again, fond to death of his friends, fonder still of Charlie. He wants to kiss him again, but he waits only because he knows he'll be able to--
[He'll be able to...now. And tomorrow. Whenever he wants...
[His heart is in his throat again. When did his arms find their way around Charlie's middle? Just the same way Charlie has his looped around Neil's neck.]
Well, I think they'd be jealous. Personally. [A clear tease - he can't even begin to consider whether or not his friends have the same unconventional feelings that he has toward--
[Yes. Better not to think about it, really.
[He finds himself looking away again, between them, still smiling at the ground as he bites his lip.]
[ He hears the tease in Neil's words, knows they're not sincere at all, but he can't help but scoff. Neil's one of the biggest brains he knows, and he's a real idiot sometime. Some of them really would be jealous, but not of Neil.
It's a fierce satisfaction that runs through his veins. Of all the people who could have gotten Neil Perry, it was him.
It's just between them.
Charlie scrubs an affectionate hand through Neil's hair, messing up that perfect schoolboy cut and grinning at him, wide and wild. ]
We're gonna have to find more hiding places.
[ Some hopefully even more private than this. ]
Come on. It's getting dark.
[ Hager will check on their common room before bed, and Charlie doesn't really give a shit about demerits, but he's got to spend at least a little while convincing Neil that this little affair won't reflect badly on his pristine Welton record.
He stands, a hand extended to haul Neil up too, right into his arms for one last embrace. ]
Edited (when da subject line gets eated...) 2024-11-16 08:15 (UTC)
no subject
His own eyes open to see Neil smiling– grinning, wide and toothy and infuriatingly charming. There's no shock, or rage, or hurt, or– whatever else Charlie's feared for so long that it now feels royally stupid. He feels himself grinning too, boyish and wild.
He lets the hand beneath Neil's chin fall down to rest against his shoulder. ]
Well? Did that do the trick, or are you still thinking?
[ He squeezes Neil's other hand, a single pulse to try to get his attention, his tone smug and playful all at once. ]
'Cause if at first you don't succeed...
no subject
No. No, I'm not thinking anything at all. I don't want to start. Jesus...
[A sudden nervous tightness in his throat. He swallows it down, another laugh squeaking out. His smile fades into a bite to his lower lip. He squeezes Charlie's hand.]
That's alright? It is?
no subject
Charlie's had eyes for many people throughout his young life. He's never thought one of them was beautiful.
Their clasped hands have been an anchor point, but he finally lets go now so he can turn more toward him, both of his hands over Neil's shoulders. They smooth over them, up to the sides of his neck and back down again. ]
It's alright with me. Is it alright with you?
[ Say yes. Let yourself want this one thing.
And then, inevitably, his own expression starts to creep into a smirk. ]
Try it again if you're not sure.
no subject
Yeah. I should. [He should. Charlie kissed Neil. Now Neil gets to kiss Charlie.
[He does, and it's a little quicker than the first one. Neil isn't satisfied with that, so he dips back in for another, just a little slower.
[His blood seems to ignite. It's an excitement he's yet to feel - alive, awake, inspiring. He doesn't know what it means, but maybe he doesn't want to. It could mean everything.]
Ha...[He closes his eyes. He's still smiling.]
Jesus, Charlie...You really think we could? No. We can. We have--
Yes. Yes, it's alright with me.
[A sudden worry, though, despite. His smile fades just a bit. He bites his lip again.]
Just between you and me. Right?
no subject
But it's an important question.
Charlie drapes his arms over Neil's bony shoulders, clasps his hands loosely behind him so he's trapped in their loop. Looks at him in the eye for a moment, his own expression unreadable. He wants to remember this: How Neil looked when he was allowing himself to want something, to have something; to want Charlie, to have Charlie. ]
Yeah. Just between you and me.
[ It's serious, significant. This moment and any others like it are for no one but them.
Then he breaks that somber air with grin, eyebrows rising. ]
You really think I wanna deal with the rest of them knowing? They'd never shut up about it. It's hard enough to keep 'em in line.
we can probably move toward a wrap OUGHHH
[Neil laughs, bright and sudden, the sound bursting through the air around them. He feels joy - just what he's always chasing, so rarely finds in moments that aren't far too fleeting.]
They'd never. Shut up. [He laughs again, fond to death of his friends, fonder still of Charlie. He wants to kiss him again, but he waits only because he knows he'll be able to--
[He'll be able to...now. And tomorrow. Whenever he wants...
[His heart is in his throat again. When did his arms find their way around Charlie's middle? Just the same way Charlie has his looped around Neil's neck.]
Well, I think they'd be jealous. Personally. [A clear tease - he can't even begin to consider whether or not his friends have the same unconventional feelings that he has toward--
[Yes. Better not to think about it, really.
[He finds himself looking away again, between them, still smiling at the ground as he bites his lip.]
I like it better. This way.
Just between you and me.
godddddddDDDDDDDDD SEE YOU IN JANUARY
It's a fierce satisfaction that runs through his veins. Of all the people who could have gotten Neil Perry, it was him.
It's just between them.
Charlie scrubs an affectionate hand through Neil's hair, messing up that perfect schoolboy cut and grinning at him, wide and wild. ]
We're gonna have to find more hiding places.
[ Some hopefully even more private than this. ]
Come on. It's getting dark.
[ Hager will check on their common room before bed, and Charlie doesn't really give a shit about demerits, but he's got to spend at least a little while convincing Neil that this little affair won't reflect badly on his pristine Welton record.
He stands, a hand extended to haul Neil up too, right into his arms for one last embrace. ]